One Shop Man
by NocheTriste
Summary: It's Saturday! What does it mean? It's the supermarket bargain sale! Follow the supermarket cashier's daily life as he provides heroes with what they need and struggles under the heavy debt generated by rent!
1. How to pay the rent

Recently, I've been seeing a certain baldy quite often these days. Sometimes, he would come late on the special sales on Saturdays, sometimes he would miss it out and come on Sundays.

"So your total will come up to... Five thousand yen please." I said, getting ready to print out the receipt.

"What? How is it five thousand? Aren't the beef tendons sold at a discounted price today?" the baldy complained, holding up a paper ad of our supermarket.

"Uh. Nope. That thing's outdated. It says over here that the offer expires on the 25th of September. Today is the 26th." I broke it to him.

"What? You're kidding me right?" he muttered, dropping his shoulders.

"Saitama sensei, what's the matter?" a young man appeared from behind the baldy.

I recognized him. He was that guy who became an S rank hero upon entrance, the cyborg prince, Genos.

"Sir, is it fine if we buy these at yesterday's price? It is a matter of life and death for my sensei." Genos asked me.

Come to think about it, my sister had been fangirling this past month about this Genos person.

Genos-kun, my cyborg prince. I love you so much. Your cold demeanor, I am sure, hides a warm heart. Come to think about it, once again, I couldn't pass a single day without hearing these sentences uttered at least once per meal time.

"Uh, you're Genos-san, right?" I asked to confirm.

"Yes." he answered in a voice that made it hard to believe that his whole body was mechanical.

"Please use this pen to sign over here and I'll give you the deal."

The cyborg agreed and took my pen, signing the sheet. While he did that, I took a selfie of myself with him for proof.

And then, as promised, I cut the price to its previous state yesterday and they bought their items for four thousand yen.

"Thanks a lot! I owe you one!" the baldy smiled and walked away with Genos.

Come to think about it, Genos was calling him "sensei". Eventually, I shrugged off the thought and took my leave an hour later. After all, I couldn't stay working for too long, since I'm still just a part-timer and a full-time university student at Z city.

#

I came back around 6 o'clock and announced the news to my sister.

"What?! You got Genos-sama's autograph?" her voice echoed through the walls when I told her about the news.

"Uh. Yeah. Here it is. No lies, the guy came to our supermarket and bought some products, so I asked for an autograph along the way." I declared.

It was her birthday, and I was pretty short on money, not to mention that the landlady was about to kick me out. As such, Genos' appearance at the supermarket was rather timely.

"HITOYOSHI, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA PAY THE RENT?!"

Speak of the devil… She knocked on the door. She was there, the terrible, most annoying landlady one could ever have.

"DON'T COME UP TO MY APARTMENT EVERY SINGLE DAY DAMN IT. I AM GETTING PAID BY THE END OF THIS MONTH! PATIENCE, OLD HAG."

"THIS APARTMENT SOON WON'T BE YOURS ANYMORE IF I DON'T GET THE FIVE MONTHS-WORTH OF RENT MONEY!"

Once she walked away, my sister and I had supper.

"Say, say, where is the autograph?" she asked, eager to see it.

I took it out as if whipping out a ten thousand yen bill and brandished my cellphone to show her a picture as proof.  
"Here it is. So now here's your birthday gift."

Her eyes sparkled. "W-when am I eligible to apply for a job at your store?"

Ah, I see, I thought, so she wanted a chance to meet Genos.

"In two years." I answered, handing the signed sheet to my sister who obsessively sniffed at the paper.

Sometimes, she creeps me out.

#

It was a Saturday, just like any other.

Well. Maybe not.

"HAHAHAHA, FEAR ME! I AM NOW GOING TO RAZE THIS ENTIRE CITY IN ONE BLOW! I AM HAMMER HEAD MK-II!" a bald villain suddenly burst out of nowhere.

He was no monster. Rather, it was an armoured human equipped with heavy machinery.

I looked out of the shop and saw the guy taking care of some random C-ranked hero on bicycle.

If I had to evaluate the danger for the hero agency, I'd say it would be rather low. Like, a Tiger-level threat.

And so, I did what would be the most logical thing to do: close the automatic doors and stay low.

Eventually, the guy broke into supermarket.

"I AM THIRSTY! SOMEBODY BRING ME A DRINK OR I WILL DESTROY THIS SUPERMARKET!" he yelled.

I looked around.

Damn it, my manager had already made the run for it. My colleagues all had better hiding places than mine.

It was early in the morning, so there weren't many customers. As such, there was only I who could bring the drink, knowing the location of the beverages.

Lead by my instincts, I rose up and told the man that I'd go fetch a drink.

He nodded and stared at me from afar.  
And so, I brought him the new algae and strawberry beverage (the most expensive one, of course).

"So, this comes up to a total of… Five hundred yen." I calculated the money he owed to the supermarket.

"What? That's damned expensive! Don't you have cheaper ones?!" he complained, taking out a purse (I believe that was a purse).

"Eh. I do, but this one is a new product, so I think it would be worth trying. They are normally seven hundred yen each."

"Ugh. Fine. I have a one thousand yen bill. Do you have change for it?" he asked.

"Yup. Certainly." I answered.

And then he frowned.

"Wait, what am doing?" he threw his purse away upon realization, "I AM HAMMER HEAD MK-II, I WILL CREATE A SOCIETY IN WHICH THE ONES WHO WANT TO WORK WILL WORK AND THE ONES WHO DON'T CAN STOP WORKING!"

Suddenly, he flinched and crashed to the ground.

Behind him was a caped baldy whose average looks were even more average than the hero suit he wore.

"Yeah, ok. This fulfills my weekly quota of villains." he said, pulling the Hammerhead guy away.

"Wait!" I said, stopping the baldy.

He turned around. "Huh?"

I handed him the newly received beverage.

"Here it is as a thanks for saving the shop." I said.

He looked at it for a moment and glanced at me. "How much will it be?"

I frowned. Since this man saved the shop and prevented the damage that would cost us dearly…

"It's on the house. Giving it to you for free. It's also said to be able to make hair grow back." I answered.  
"Really?!" he widened his eyes at the "hair" part.

"Uh, yeah." I answered.

"I'll buy nine of these. Do you have change for fifty thousand yen?" he asked.

"I'll give you a discount of 20% then, Mr. Hero. And yes, I always have change at the front cash."

That pretty much summarized the day.

Words circulated that I, a simple cashier, along with a caped baldy, stopped a villain which was about to destroy the whole supermarket. As a result, the manager gave me a pay raise and handed me half of my monthly salary in advance plus an extra bonus.

Now that I think about it, I thought, didn't that caped baldy look similar to the baldy who came by sometimes on Saturdays?

"Yeah. Maybe I should start sleeping a bit more than just four hours a night." I told myself.

#

Around the time I came back home, the landlady stood there waiting.

"OH, THERE YOU ARE, HITOYOSHI! I AM HERE TO WARN YOU THAT IF YOU DON'T PAY-" she began yelling.

She shut up at the sight of the twenty bills I took out of my pocket.  
I handed them to her and walked past her.  
"There is six months' worth rent money. Don't come bugging me every day from now on, old hag." I said, stepping back into the building.


	2. How to survive the rain

"Question 1: What do you think about the Hero Association's service lately?

Answer 1: I'm not dead and my job at the supermarket is still safe, that's all I care about.

Question 2: Do you think we are in need to improve the service?

Answer 2: No, but Mumen Rider should try to do some delivery service too. My supermarket would be happy to have him. He's faster than our cars.

Question 3: Who are your favorite heroes?

Answer 3: The ones who always come to buy products at my supermarket.

Question 4: What do you feel about Genos skipping ranks and being classified as an S rank hero off the bat? Do you feel uneasy about it?"

Answer 4: He passes by the supermarket with a baldy on a weekly basis, so I don't have at problems at all with him.

Last Question: Which hero would you like to meet if you ever win the prize of this survey?

Last Answer: Depends. I'll be giving this prize to a younger family member, so I won't be the one deciding."

So I filled out a survey not too long ago since my sister was really hyped about having a chance to meet Genos (meeting a hero in a VIP event was the prize of this Hero Association's paper survey). She filled one out herself a while ago, but she wasn't satisfied about only having one chance on thousands, so she asked me to fill one in for her too.

Seriously though, I only did so to make her stop annoying me during lunch time about it, nothing else.

#

So, I was studying at a basement library when I heard some idiots shouting that they'd conquer the land and that all lifeforms came from the sea, therefore the Deep Sea King had the rights to claim all. I didn't take anything seriously, I didn't even bother raising my eyes because I was trying to complete my homework. Then, an hour later, when I was done, I looked around. There was absolutely nobody left. Everybody evacuated.

Suddenly, I heard a ridiculously loud yelling: "PURI-PURI-PRISONER, ANGEL STYLEEEEEEEE!"

This time, I actually bothered to look up and through the window. I even opened it a bit in order to clearly see what in the world was going on.

My jaws dropped when I saw a naked dude fighting some green muscular fish man (whom I assumed was the Deep Sea King from the yells and screams I've heard while I was doing homework. But wait, I told myself, that guy is Puri-Puri Prisoner, an S rank hero… which could only mean that everybody is in deep trouble. If even this guy came out, then there was absolutely no doubt about it.

"No one has ever seen my Angel Style and lived to tell about it." the naked man declared.

As I observed the fight between the S ranked Puri-Puri-Prisoner and the Deep Sea King, I suddenly felt like I needed to walk away from the windows and get the hell out of the area. Yeah… Maybe taking the day off today wasn't a good idea.

I took out my cellphone and called my boss while watching the fight.

"Hello? Hitoyoshi? Is it for job resignation?" he said, upon picking up.

"Eh. No, sir, I've just decided to come work tonight." I said, watching Puri-Puri Prisoner getting completely wrecked.

"Oh, really? Very good. I'll note that. When should I expect you to arrive?" he asked.

"ANGEL RUUUSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the naked S rank hero yelled, pummeling the sea boss with his "Angel Rush" with full force. Hopefully my boss didn't hear that one. It's common knowledge among some employees not to let employers know that they associate with weirdos (or perverts, in the worst case).

"Uh, in around two hours. It's starting to rain, so I'll probably get there around four o'clock in the afternoon and do a night shift." I answered.

"No problem. I will be counting on you then." he said before hanging up.

I put my phone away, packed up and walked up the stairs only to realize a man-sized fish man stood in front of the entrance, right beside my motorcycle.

To put things in perspective, the Deep Sea King was fighting near the northern exit of the library, but I got out at the southern entrance, which was why I was safe.

Well, certainly, if it was only the rain, I'd be fine, since I had a rainproof backpack and a rainproof coat. Problem was, these items weren't monsterproof.

My cellphone rang.

"Eh? Onii-chan? Is it you?"

It was my sister.

"Can you please pick up the new hero magazine about Amai Mask at the convenience store on your way back?" she asked.

"Didn't bring money with me today." I said, hanging up.

She then forwarded the following text to me: "Then please go to the bank to withdraw some! It's a limited edition! Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please!"

Results: I blocked my sister.

Screw this, Ugly Mask could wait. There were more important things to take care of.

I dashed towards the entrance and tackled the fish man. As a person with flexible abilities, the boss often asked me to carry unbelievably heavy boxes (a cashier's job is what his boss decide is anyways). As a result, my body was sturdier than most people, which resulted in stronger physical force as well.

A slaughter ensued.

I was no hero, but I was capable of strangling a fish dork at the most least.

#

"Well… I appreciate your steadfastness, Hitoyoshi, but by god, go take a shower before starting to work. You smell like fish." my boss said upon seeing me arriving a minute late under the awful weather conditions.

He seemed impressed. Well. Maybe a bit more disgusted than impressed, but I could tell that he had this "Damn son! That was fast" look on his face.

"Yes sir. I was caught in the incident with the rising of the deep sea monsters a few hours ago, which explains my current state."

"Mkay, mkay. Apologies accepted. You're getting more and more creative with your minute excuses, Hitoyoshi. Sounds better than the supersonic-villain-destroyed-buildings-with-shurikens-thus-I-am-late excuse from last month. Now go take a shower."

"Yes, sir."

#

The next day, I went to the mailbox during the morning to pick up letters. It's been about two weeks since I've last checked it.

"Oh, look, a letter from the Hero Association." I said, opening it.

Did I contact them before? Maybe the mailman messed up? Well, my name was printed on the folder, so it shouldn't have been a mistake.

"Congratulations, Hitoyoshi! You are the winner of our survey!"

A huge wall of text followed. A few small letters were printed at the bottom.

"Please reply within the 20th to 23rd of December or the unclaimed reward will become invalid."

Since I was curious about it, I glanced at my watch. It said "24th of December".


End file.
